I can’t believe it is already March, which means I’ve been
here for a month now! Things are starting to feel relatively normal about
living here. I define normal as being able to wake up in the morning and
remember where I am.
The college is in full swing now. The students are back and
classes have officially started. The campus seemed to transform overnight from
a desolate quiet place to an organism alive with student bustling about. I was
informed of this transformation promptly at 6:00 am (*please note that the sun
doesn’t rise here until almost 9:00 am) when a loud speaker with cheesy
commercial music and incoherent voices echoed boisterously throughout the
university. I have no idea what they were saying but they seemed to be ushering
in the new semester.
The new semester means new neighbors, who happen to be a
hall full of teenage boys from a neighboring country. They are here with an
exchange program between the college and their school back home. Why they have
an exchange program for junior high and high school boys to come to college is
beyond me. I have had limited interaction with them, but have been able to
discover a few things about them. Their favorite past times include: smoking,
singing in falsetto, slamming doors, “stomping the yard”, and spitting in the
hallway. From speaking with some of the locals they are often considered
rambunctious and rude. From my perspective, they are a source of humor with
their ridiculous behavior (i.e. blaring Christina Aguilera songs) and they
serve as a sort of antonym to my presence. We are both foreigners here and they
create a wide distinction between myself and other guests of this country. I hope to do my
best to understand the people and the culture, to respect them, and be gracious
and loving.
It’s not easy to forget you’re a foreigner here. The way
most foreigners are treated appears to be an oxymoron. In some ways the people
seem closed off and ambiguous, and in other ways they are generously inviting
and curious. There are days where a storekeeper, after a frustrating attempt of
asking a question, will shake her head and say, “Foreigners, they never
understand!” And there are other days, when van-taxi drivers will offer me the
front seat, smile at me kindly and go out of his way to assist me when the van
eventually broke down. Sometimes these things happen within the span of the same
day.
Two common occurrences of my day are: prolonged stares in my
direction and mockingly being shouted “hello!” at from strangers. I have
narrowed the local’s reaction to my presence here into 4 basic facial
expressions.
1.
Disbelief: this is the expression of shock and
awe and at times makes me feel like I’m a costumed character at Disneyland. It
is often accompanied with a dropped jaw and whispering amongst a group. I
mostly receive this look from small children and junior highers.
2.
Disdain: this expression is the typically a prolonged evil eye. This look is
generally only given to me by the elderly in the community and is usually
accompanied with a gesture of crossing to the opposite side of the street.
3.
Snickering: a self-explanatory expression
usually given by groups of people. This expression often makes me wonder if I have something on
my face, my zippers down or something else of embarrassing nature.
4.
Discreet: the most rare, yet the expression I cherish the most. This is when people pretend not to stare at me until I pass them,
but if I glance back I’ll find them staring. I think this has only happened
twice.
*Please note these are just generalizations from my limited
perspective. Obviously I can’t fully read what their faces mean and typically
their expressions are a mixture of several of the ones listed above.
In the beginning the stares and whispers bothered me and
resulted in me walking quickly through town with my head down. Now I’ve grown
quite accustom to it and simply ignore it. Since I’ve been here my reactions to
the culture have been as mixed as people’s expressions toward me. On days when
its difficult to be here or I don’t understand something about the culture I
enjoy thinking that my Father is the Father of these people. He knows them
fully—language, quirks, emotions, and all.
Below are just a few pictures of the place I call home here:
My Living Room
My Bedroom
My Wall of Encouragement: letters and pictures from home

wonderful!
ReplyDeleteAshley your so funny!
ReplyDeleteThanks Chris! I wish I could convey how complex, frustrating, hysterical and challenging my experiences and this place are! This is my best effort, but it is only a shadow.
DeleteHi Ashley!
ReplyDeleteI so enjoyed your blog today! The language, events and pictures are priceless! I know that you are perfectly prepared by your Father to be His representative in China because you have such a positive outlook and a caring heart! Here are some ideas I found on the Internet:
Chinese Society & Culture
The Importance of "Face"
The concept of 'face' roughly translates as 'honour', 'good reputation' or 'respect'.
There are four types of 'face':
1) Diu-mian-zi: this is when one's actions or deeds have been exposed to people.
2) Gei-mian-zi: involves the giving of face to others through showing respect.
3) Liu-mian-zi: this is developed by avoiding mistakes and showing wisdom in action.
4) Jiang-mian-zi: this is when face is increased through others, i.e. someone complementing you to an associate.
It is critical you avoid losing face or causing the loss of face at all times.
Collectivism vs. Individualism
In general, the Chinese are a collective society with a need for group affiliation, whether to their family, school, work group, or country.
In order to maintain a sense of harmony, they will act with decorum at all times and will not do anything to cause someone else public embarrassment (Apparently, this doesn't apply to foreigners, or possibly only to Westerners like yourself!).
They are willing to subjugate their own feelings for the good of the group.
This is often observed by the use of silence in very structured meetings. If someone disagrees with what another person says, rather than disagree publicly, the person will remain quiet. This gives face to the other person, while speaking up would make both parties lose face.
Non-Verbal Communication
Chinese non-verbal communication speaks volumes.
Since the Chinese strive for harmony and are group dependent, they rely on facial expression, tone of voice and posture to tell them what someone feels.
Frowning while someone is speaking is interpreted as a sign of disagreement. Therefore, most Chinese maintain an impassive expression when speaking.
It is considered disrespectful to stare into another person's eyes (this is an interesting comment in view of what you are experiencing!). In crowded situations the Chinese avoid eye contact to give themselves privacy.
I noticed that when I was in Japan about 10 summers ago that people went to great lengths to avoid eye contact. I walked through the Tokyo train depot where some 10,000 people were boarding trains and was able to make eye contact with only one person! I found out later that making eye contact is actually disrespectful; akin to calling someone "stupid." You might ask someone who seems friendly if this might be the case there as well.
Glad you're feeling better; I will lift your health and safety up in prayer! Got to run to Ash Wednesday services now and I'll pray for you then. Have a wonderful week and enjoy the strangeness of your new surroundings. Very few people get to do what you are doing, and you will draw on these experiences many times in your adult life.
Love, Foxy
Dear Ashley,
ReplyDeleteWe lifted you up last night at Dad's House. The yarp process has got you covered for your injuries, infections and physical challenges. You are good to go! Good luck with the students; I know you'll sleb them!
Foxy!
ReplyDeleteI love the information you posted about the culture! I am fascinated by anthropological and enthographic study and playing pretend anthropologist a bit. Its interesting to see the culture play out in everyday life. Sometimes the people act verbatim to the textbooks and studies I read, but I am also enjoy how dynamic human nature and culture is. It isn't completely predictable, which makes every day interesting.
Thank you so much for remembering me! I am seeing much progress in my health and I know that is due to the family of faithful yarp warriors!